The Phantom Nimby
The Sceptic Tank longs for a back yard. Nothing grand - a small patch of green, maybe some vegetables to live out our Good Life fantasy of endless summer days with Felicity Kendal.
But perhaps more importantly, the Tank wants its own piece of Britain so we can tell people to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT, possibly while brandishing a pitchfork or even an antique musket.
Yes, we yearn to join in some of the japes those anti-wind farm protestors get up to. Banners, local rallies and now a piece of legislation almost guaranteed to pull the carpet out from under the country's renewable energy efforts - what larks.
But UK nimby-ism is still in its infancy compared to our cousins in Canada who are proving to be far more imaginative.
Residents in a well-to-do University of British Columbia apartment block have raised a petition appealing to the university to reverse its plans for to build a hospice opposite. Because it will block the view? Because it might be too noisy?
No, no - nothing so trivial. It's because of the ghosts.
Just let that sink in a moment.
"I think their fear is genuine," former charity chief executive Tung Chan said, before raising the spectre of doubt. "However, what I do see is no different from any classic NIMBYism ... and cultural effect is just one of the things they trot out to explain that."
The Tank can see the headlines now - "Noel Edmunds claims turbine noise is the despairing calls of wandering spirits trapped in this world by whirring blades - Mystery Inc on standby."
Zoicks! And he woulda got away with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids.
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