The Sceptic Tank is delighted to learn that global warming isn't happening and is preparing to lead the worldwide celebrations.
You can hardly imagine the sense of relief when we heard humanity was not hurtling towards the precipice, and learnt that the world's scientific community and basic laws of physics were wrong.
You may find this hard to believe if you are either a) capable of rational thought, or b) reading this in those parts of the world currently experiencing above average temperatures. But it is true and we have proof – it is snowing in London.
That's right, it really is snowing in London and ergo the world can not be warming.
We now look forward to a New Year that will see the rolling back of all those costly climate change policies and the imminent release by climate sceptics of their explanation for receding Arctic Sea ice, disappearing glaciers, accelerating rates of desertification, and increased incidence of extreme weather events, as well as their plans for tackling peak oil, energy insecurity, ocean acidification, food shortages, air pollution, and the catastrophic degradation of the ecosystems we rely on.
It should be a great 2011.
All the green business news from around the world this week
'Without companies aligning their business models and operations with the SDGs - they simply won't be achieved' experts warn
Climate Bonds Initiative forecasts major global growth ahead that could see first $1tr issuance hit in early 2020s
The fund's new targets are intended to align with targets set by the UK Green Building Council