WHOOSH! Readers, that's the sound of the Tank's HIGH-OCTANE, 100MPH LIFESTYLE careering by. Yes, if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up TOO MUCH DAMN ROOM, as our Dad used to say. And as the former Sainsbury's record holder for stacking fish paste, he should know.

But the sheer EYE-MELTING rapidity of our existence means the Tank is often too busy HARING ROUND an F1 track, doing body shots with SUPERMODELS' or turning the laundry cycle up to EXTRA-SPIN to tune into the sort of throbbing, punishing TV shows that can slake our endless adrenaline lust. Especially now Spring Watch is off the schedules.

So you'll understand why we had to POP A WHEELIE down the Matterhorn and HIGH-FIVE THE SUN when Turbine Cowboys popped onto our super-sensitive thrill radar, as part of the ever-gnarly Weather Channel's Braving the Elements series.

These crazies "are pushed to the limit both physically and emotionally as they brave extreme heights and every conceivable weather condition to work on wind turbines".

The Sceptic Tank is delighted to see that anything, yes anything, can be given a reality TV makeover and from now on will refer to all serious minded, highly qualified wind turbine engineers using their proper title of Turbine Cowboys!

Meanwhile, if any Reality TV commissioners are out there we would love the opportunity to pitch Solar Panel Superheroes and Biomass Bandits. After all who wouldn't see the most exciting emerging business sectors on the planet reduced to a poorly edited 30 minute broadcast featuring an over-bearing soundtrack and cartoon graphics.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that really-really good looking people have an aura that allows them to get stuff done much more quickly than the rest of us ugly mugs.

While most of us spend months on end badgering Helen in accounts to pay out an invoice, the good-looking clan would in the same amount of time hit all their targets, flirted with the CEO until he gave them all of his secrets, and then talked a banker down from the roof with their sultry tones.

But don't let those feelings of injustice niggle away, just because you don't possess the perfectly symmetrical features that scientific research has classified as "smokin' hot".

Not today anyway, because the Sceptic Tank has discovered there may be another way to join the elite – just go green.

That seems to be the lesson from the annual, in no way inappropriate, poll of the most fanciable MPs in Westminster, which for the second year in a row has crowned Tory environmental campaigner Zac Goldsmith and Labour Shadow Climate Minister Luciana Berger as the hottest of our elected representatives. The Sceptic Tank is convinced it can't be a coincidence.

Now, Zac Goldsmith would be a fine looking man even if he was lobbying for tar sands extraction in the Chilterns, while Luciana Berger could still turn heads if a reshuffle left her promoting airports. But let's be honest, their environmental concerns and intelligent promotion of the green economy make them more attractive still, doesn't it? That and the cheekbones, obviously.

The rest of us can simply gawp on and hope that these two young MPs can use their genetic advantage to further raise the profile of the UK's green businesses. They are certainly a lot more photogenic than Lord Lawson.

Snow! Thriller of children, bane of public transport, lifeblood of Frosty. Yes, several years in the media has made the Sceptic Tank all too aware of the apparent need to crowbar in some kind of topical weather-related story whenever large quantities of the white stuff appears, almost all of which could appear under the Pulitzer Prize winning headline: "Look, it's snowing".

But fortunately we're above such tabloid antics - hewn from the rock-solid stoicism that made this country great, as Uncle Sceptic Vat used to say, we only report on winter weather conditions if there is a clear green business angle to be had.

Thankfully for all you snow lovers out, there just such an angle can be found if only you are willing to look hard enough.

For example, how would solar panels perform under the weight of a solid six inches of snow? Fortunately, comparison site Talk Solar Panels has done the hard thinking for us.

Options considered range from simply letting it melt - the "preferred tactic of lazy and short people" - to using complicated micro-inverters, and the ever-popular, yet rather less high tech, "hitting it with a hose" method.

But in the Tank's opinion, there is really only one choice: firing a sponge NERF ball at the offending snow drift in an attempt to dislodge it. Not only will it keep your eye in for when next door's cat saunters by, but if you time it so someone's walking past you're a cert for that £200 from You've Been Framed cheque. And that, as they say, is snow joke.

Next week, what to do if your wind turbine gets icy. 

Wind turbines, is there anything they can't do?

We already know they produce clean energy and are loved by the public, but now it turns out that maybe, just maybe, they could also improve crop productivity.

That's right, farmers could have another reason to install wind turbines on their land, over and above the obvious financial inducements.

Eugene Takle, an agricultural meteorologist (we would have loved to have seen the look on his career advice officer's face when he voiced that particular aspiration) at Iowa State University is one of a number of scientists undertaking research into how wind turbines installed in America's corn belt are affecting the growth of the crops they tower over.

According to National Geographic, the early indications are pretty encouraging. Apparently the turbulence created by turbines can increase concentrations of CO2 in an area, limit the creation of dew, and result in cooler daytime temperatures and warmer nights, all of which should help crop growth.

There are a couple of downsides to do with plant respiration and other things we won't pretend to understand. But the research team currently reckon the gains will outweigh any negatives.

Which is more than enough to convince the Sceptic Tank to ditch the Baby Bio and instead erect a small wind turbine in his window box.

As every cliché-monger knows, all stables need a good clean once in a while. But now it turns out there is a solid non-metaphorical reason for cranking up the power hose.

It turns out that large stables, such as the one in Newmarket shown above, can produce enormous quantities of, shall we call it manure? 25,000 tonnes a year, in fact.

So three cheers for the Jockey Club, which has neatly hurdled the problem of how to dispose of this "fertiliser" by submitting a planning request for a recycling facility that will convert it into biomass.

When the plant is completed later this year, it will be able to process around 5,000 tonnes of this most sustainable of materials, heating nearby schools and businesses in the process.

Reports remain unconfirmed that the facility will produce almost as much hot air as pompous gas-bag John McCririck.

The facility also provides a much-needed financial fillip for the Club.

"The training industry is very tough at the moment and over time we hope this project will reduce waste disposal costs, enabling training businesses to remain viable," said Jockey Club Estates managing director, William Gittus, before spotting a Channel 4 camera and launching into a series of inexplicable hand gestures.