Much like country legend Johnny Lee, the Tank has been looking for love in all the wrong places. We can't provide details due to the court order, but suffice to say we can never return to SeaWorld again.
Anyway, as if we didn't feel badly enough already, Japanese scientists have now pointed out that we've getting our solar energy from the wrong places too.
It seems that while deserts might be obvious locations for solar arrays, it is in fact Antarctica, or the high peaks of the Himalayas and the Andes, that could deliver the greatest levels of solar power on the grounds that cold temperatures increase the operational efficiency of certain photovoltaic solar cells.
"The Himalayan region is especially attractive because it is near regions with large future energy demands such as China and India," notes Takashi Oozeki and Yutaka Genchi of the National Institute of Industrial Science and Technology in Japan.
"Because CO2 emissions per unit of electricity in China and India are larger than those in the developed countries, using PV energy in these regions could have a large mitigation effect on climate change," they add in a paper published in the Environmental Science and Technology journal.
Add in the 24-hour sunshine enjoyed at the poles for parts of the year and it becomes clear the Desertec project to generate solar power in the Sahara should really move its sights northwards and rename itself FreezingColdTundra-tec.
Now the Tank can't think of any problems asssociated with locating solar arrays in remote areas that are either completely dark for three months of the year or 8km up a mountain situated between three notoriously bellicose nations – apart from maybe those pesky yetis, which scientists are now 95 per cent sure really do exist.
Although apparently the Japanese scientists are more cautious and are now embarking on the next phase of their research: analysing potential transmission losses and the impact of snow fall.
We can't imagine what conclusions they'll come up with, although we are regretting not jumping on the academic gravy train when we had the chance.
EY's annual league table sees UK climb two places after wave of supportive policy measures for wind and solar in 2020
European energy giant unveils investment strategy that will see it invest €160bn directly in green infrastructure, while leveraging a further €30bn from other parties
President-elect's ambitious climate strategy secures first victory, as General Motors ditches support for emissions standards legal battle
Creative pressure: Why the advertising and PR industry is in the sights of the fossil fuel divestment movement
Agencies facing fresh calls to cut their ties with laggard fossil fuel firms, leaving many in the advertising and PR sector with difficult decisions to make