Sir Alex Ferguson - Eco-warrior
Manchester United über-lord Sir Alex Ferguson has always struck the Sceptic Tank as a man who will do anything in his power to make himself as unlikeable as is humanly possible.
This is a man who picks up grudges with the same frequency as his pampered Premiership princes pick up embarrassing kiss and tell stories.
A man who, when faced with any slight, perceived or otherwise, will resort not to the courts, but media boycotts that are then broken sporadically in order to try to destroy the careers of match officials.
He may be a giant of the game and a hoarder of trophies, but to all but the most loyal of Manchester United fans he is a ruddy-faced ball of vindictive rage who has become so one-eyed that he could easily serve as a latter day Cyclops.
But perhaps we have misjudged the sultan of Old Trafford; perhaps when whiling away the hours plotting his next illustrious victory or selecting which poorly remunerated official to destroy, Ferguson is also working on an environmental master plan.
This grand vision sneaked to the surface this week when Ferguson, never an unquestioning acolyte of the upstanding Football Association, turned his fire on the decision to play the two upcoming FA Cup semifinals at Wembley, despite both involving teams from the north west.
"Just think about this one issue, which is important. There will be 60,000 people coming down from Manchester - you think about how much petrol is used for that. This is one issue alone," he told reporters this week.
"Think of the amount of people from the north west driving away down there - Stoke fans, Bolton fans, City fans, United fans - and on the same weekend Liverpool fans are travelling down [to play Arsenal]. And you've also got people coming down to see the London Marathon. It's going to be absolute chaos."
In the short term, Ferguson would prefer to see the games played at Anfield and Villa Park. But in the long term imagine the boost to the environmental movement if we can harness the undimmed power of Ferguson's righteous indignation and apply it to the wider challenges presented by our car-centric, carbon intensive transport network.
Then again, Manchester United will once again spend this summer jetting around the US on an utterly fatuous, money-spinning pre-season tour, so perhaps we might have to wait a few more years for Fergie to turn his infamous hairdryers on polluting travel options.
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