Basketball - now there's a confusing sport.
The Sceptic Tank would be looking for a refund if its baskets boasted so many holes, but perhaps that's just the envy talking. After all, the only dunking we'll ever do involves doughnuts.
Still it's good to know that the freakish man-giants striding up and down basketball diamonds in the US of States are fighting the good green fight. That's right folks, you cannot have failed to notice that it's NBA Green Week! That special time of year when all your favourite squadrons take a well-deserved break from spiking the pigskin in the end-zone and get down to some serious Corporate Social Responsibility.
And the scale of the effort is truly breathtaking.
Apparently, the NBA and its teams are continually implementing new measures to reduce energy consumption and waste, but more importantly all players will be given 100 per cent organic cotton shirts featuring the NBA Green logo, as well as NBA Green headbands and wristbands - albeit with just the 45 per cent organic cotton - during nationally broadcast games as part of efforts to raise "additional environmental awareness".
In an act of unbelievable generosity, fans can even pay to get hold of this new organic cotton sportswear and, you know, really drive the message home.
Feeling a tad underwhelmed? Don't worry, there's more. Players from the NBA's 30 franchises will roll out of their Humvees to host community service events aimed at encouraging greener behaviour from fans, who really should be carrying the can on this one.
Civilians will join their idols to plant trees, clean-up parks, refurbish learning centres and eventually come to an understanding that PR-friendly photo opportunities are much better for the environment than, say, ending the practice of relaunching new strips every year with the express intention of making fans' attire obsolete.
The Sceptic Tank would like to end this rant with a special mention for the Dallas Mavericks who for one week only will be taking over from the UN, Atlas and Flash Gordon to 'guard the planet'.
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