05 Jan 2012, 14:45
Normally when the Tank hears analysts harping on about the carbon bubble bursting, we anticipate a tough session Googling an endless flow of financial acronyms and arcane terminology.
Now, we're not saying financiers have concocted a secret language to disassociate themselves from the regular pencil pushers who remain unwilling to front up £15,000 for each of the letters M, B and A added after their name. No, we're saying they do it so the rest of us have no idea what they're up too, because if we did, we damn sure wouldn't like it.
Anyway, you can imagine our relief when it turns out that this latest carbon bubble is related to a specialism of ours: fizzy pop.
And actually, it hasn't popped – you see, shutdowns at two plants that supply CO2 to Schweppes Australia, the nation's second-largest soft-drink maker, and a labour dispute at another factory, is causing huge shortages of cool, refreshing, teeth-rotting carbonated drinks.
Popular brands such as Pepsi and Sunkist are in short supply, while sugared-water behemoth Coca-Cola could be next. The word on the street is the supply shortage will be declared a national emergency and the military will be deployed on the streets of Brisbane if the Castlemaine brewery is hit.
It does strike the Tank that bemoaning a lack of CO2 is quite some departure from the usual BusinessGreen slant, but frankly our low-carbon business opportunities antennae are jumping around like a kangaroo on a hot plate.
All that fuss Aussie mining companies are making over the new carbon tax? Simply capture and bottle the stuff and send it over to Schweppes.
Now there's an idea you don't need an MBA to appreciate.
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