Small people, rich fish, and the PR car crash that is BP

Every time you allow just the tiniest inkling of sympathy to develop for BP chief executive Tony Hayward, he crushes it with the kind of ruthless efficiency he is incapable of displaying when dealing with the leak in the Gulf.

So, just a day after the company finally did something right by agreeing to suspend its dividend and pay $20bn (£13.5bn) into an independent compensation fund, Hayward undid any PR boost the company might have received by offering up one of the most absurdly evasive appearances at a Congressional hearing in decades.

It also quickly emerged that the media-trained exec had resorted to parroting material from his own TV ads in an attempt to providing any form of candid answers, a fact neatly demonstrated by this excellent splicing job from the Huffington Post.

A number of members of Congress called on Hayward to listen to more suggestions from the public, and he could start by casting his eye over 17 tips from CNBC. Although if the oil-eating mushrooms fail and BP resorts to using a nuclear explosion to cap the well, we really are in trouble.

The crisis in the Gulf may have been bad news for fishermen, fish, seagulls, environmentalists, oil rig workers and climate legislation but, like all good disasters, it has been a godsend for comedians.

The Upright Citizens Brigade has satirised BP's incompetence at dealing with a spill of a different kind, while the gloriously anti-British " rich fish" video has been going down a storm.

Meanwhile, Twitter has been inundated with anti-BP jokes, the best of which comes from @jimmyfallon: "BP’s CEO called the citizens of the Gulf 'small people'. Not to be outdone, the people of the Gulf called BP 'giant douchebags'. "