Brussels prepares full light bulb ban

Fresh from banning energy-efficient light bulbs, legislators in Brussels are considering imposing a ban on all light bulbs.

According to sources at the European Parliament, MEPs have become so frustrated with the extent to which even energy-saving light bulbs are left on unnecessarily that they are considering legislative action to tackle the problem.

"Banning incandescent bulbs has worked very effectively, so why not ban those bulbs that are being left on all the time wasting energy, money and carbon," explained one source at the European Commission. "We have tried telling people that this is ridiculously wasteful, but they just won't listen so more draconian action is required."

Details about how such a ban would be enforced remain sketchy, but an early draft of the new rules suggest that lighting SWAT teams could be created that would confiscate bulbs that were consistently left on overnight or used in unoccupied rooms.

An alternative proposal would see every second light bulb in a building impounded, while officials are also considering a rota-based approach that would see certain bulbs removed on certain days of the week.

Brussels officials admitted that the proposals were likely to face opposition, but argued that they were left with little choice given widespread failure to address the issue.

"Given some people regarded the phasing out of wasteful and energy-inefficient bulbs as a violation of their civil liberties, we fully expect opposition to the idea of confiscating bulbs," said one source. "But if people point-blank refuse to save themselves money and make even this simple contribution to tackling climate change, what else can we do?"