A small cabal of the world's leading climate scientists have today confirmed they are to dig into their own pockets to buy the pacific islands of Fiji, Western Samoa and Tonga in a move welcomed by climate sceptics as conclusive proof that their climate change theories were only ever driven by avarice.
The group of five European climate scientists, all of whom sit on the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), reportedly paid $9bn to the governments of the three largest archipelagos in the South Pacific to take ownership of the islands.
The deal raised immediate questions about the provenance of the cash, but sources close to the deal said it had come from the scientists' personal fortunes which they had quietly amassed in Swiss bank accounts following years of multi billion dollar research grants.
A spokesman for the group of unidentified scientists, Salif Poro, said that after years spent extracting ice cores in the Antarctic as part of their lucratively funded research projects the scientists were looking for a warm weather location for their retirement mansions.
Wall Street financial analyst Randy Bega said that the three sovereign states had been acquired at a significantly reduced price after much of the work pioneered by the scientists predicted that they would be largely submerged within the next century.
Climate sceptics said the development provided conclusive proof that global warming is a hoax.
"These scientists may dress like they haven't two dimes to rub together and there may be no evidence to support our claims, but we have long known that most climate scientists in fact command gargantuan salaries," said former oil executive and founder of lobby group Truth about Climate Change, Rik Moran. "This news proves that some of the most senior members of the IPCC are in fact richer than Warren Buffet and have delivered their research findings with the sole aim of undermining property prices in the tropics – we're also pretty sure that they caused the credit crunch."
He added that his only concern is that given the news has emerged on April Fool's Day some people may refuse to believe the latest evidence of the scale of the conspiracy currently being perpetrated by the world's climate scientists.
"The only alternative is to believe that the laws of physics do in fact apply and that manmade carbon emissions resulting from the burning of fossil fuels are in fact leading to increased global temperatures," he said. "If that were to be the case, I'd have to stop drawing my lobbyist's salary, get a proper job and start driving a smaller car, and there is no way that is happening any time soon."
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